Season 8, Episode 4 - Design your Heart Out

Challenge: Create a dress for the Campbell's Soup "Address your Heart" campaign for women whose lives have been impacted by heart disease.

Target: This Guy's dress (who the fuck is this guy?)

KORSimile: "It's like you took a list of everything that's tacky and put it in one dress."

 What? I don't see people asking how much money a stranger makes in this dress. I don't see any 'dead baby' jokes in this dress, or people tagging pictures of themselves kissing their significant others on Facebook. This dress is far more subdued than half the people I know would have made it (can you say "boobie cut-outs"? Because that's what I'm thinkin').

Clearly MK has not spent enough time in Ocean City to be really familiar with tacky.



Ooh gurl, you been workin' out??





Season 8, Episode 3 - It's a Party (Part 2)

Challenge: Create a garment using materials from a party supply store.
Target: AJ's Dress
KORSimile: "It looks like a pinata exploded."
Yikes. I mean, pinatas aren't usually this vulgar. Meaning, happy Mexican party toys that you beat with a stick usually don't have beaded pubic areas.

This is Michael's face upon reading my commentary and taking a very different interpretation of beating happy Mexican things with sticks.
I love doing this blog because it lets me do google image searches of stuff that only rarely turns up bare titties. For example, when I searched for "exploding pinata," I got the following images:

A uterus pinata for a "Thank God I'm Not Pregnant" party:

This lovely lady:

This moustachioed young lad:

And a Samoa:

As fun as that was, however, I'm now afraid that my picture is going to turn up when some other weirdo with a blog searches for "mustachioed transvestite eating girlscout cookies at a lesbian feminist party."

Season 9, Episode 2 - My Pet Project (Part 2)

Challenge: Create a garment using supplies from a pet store.

Target: Josh M.'s styling

KORSimile: "She looks like Sea Vixen Barbie."

Hey, I think I actually had Sea Vixen Barbie. It was confusing, though, because "vixen" can mean both "sexually attractive woman" (probably inappropriate for a child's toy, but let's not pull punches-- you'd fuck Barbie if you had a chance, plastic or not) and "a shrewish, ill-tempered woman." (It can also mean "female fox" but that's just opening a can of worms). So, this doll was a smokin' hot lady who bitched all the time. It wasn't the most fun playtime, but beggars can't be choosers.

"Bitch, get off my fins."

The funniest part of this episode, though, was at the end when the judges were arguing over which look was best, and Heidi and Nina were really getting into it-- seriously, the accents were nuts, and words were being pronounced all funny and smoke was coming out of Nina's ears-- and it was a replay of last season's finale when they couldn't agree that Mondo is OBVIOUSLY THE BEST and Gretchen is a horrible wench.

So MK is sitting in the middle of all of this, and he goes "It's getting hot. I'm going through Man-opause."

What clever wordplay. As usual.

Why that man is not yet president is beyond me.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

Season 8, Episode 9 - Race to the Finish (Part 2)

Challenge: Create a high-fashion look and a ready-to-wear companion piece for a L'Oreal Paris photo shoot.
Simile: "I think this weird diamante hoop on her shoulder is just wacky. The only possible accessory she could use with this is a wand...

...It literally looks like 'I love YOU, and YOU, and YOU!'"

Oh, Michael! You love me?? Does that mean you've switched over?

Oh. Well, a girl can dream.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!