Season 9, Episode 2 - My Pet Project

Challenge: Make a garment using supplies from a pet store.

Target: Fallene's dress made from a dog pillow and aquarium flotsam

KORSimile: "She looks like she's at an Autumn Harvest festival. She's Miss Pumpkin! You gotta have candy corn teeth to wear that dress."

I hate it when people do this on this show. They ALWAYS have the unconventional challenge and they reward people who make kooky-ass shit. This dress is not kooky. It's just shit. The point is that you either make something totally wackadoodle that looks like art or you make something unbelievably adorable but normal using crazy shit.

Ok, I can understand how this can be a difficult challenge. I could never, NEVER make a dress out of hamster bedding and leashes. Really, the only thing I could make from hamster bedding is something for a hamster to shit in and pile in corners in its cage. But this show has been doing this for 8 WHOLE SEASONS NOW. Don't these people ever LEARN?!

So, let's consider this KORSimile. This is Miss Pumpkin. I have to say, her couture is far more fabulous than Fallene's bullshit dress.

Is her dress stained with pumpkin blood?

And now let's explore if this dress would really look better with candy corn teeth:

Nope. Still doesn't work.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

Season 9, Episode 1 - Come as you Are (Part 2)

Challenge: Create a garment out of your pajamas.

Target: Julie's pants

KORSimile: "It's a little 'I Like Myself' pocket! Like, 'Hiiiii!'"

The best part was the "Hiiii!" which Heidi clearly thought was hilarious.
While Julie's outfit was just kind of bleh, I think MK is onto something-- the I Like Myself Pocket! For pleasuring yourself on the go!

Have you ever found yourself waiting in a long line at the checkout counter? Or sitting in a boring meeting? Whipping it out would alienate others and most likely get you arrested. What can you do?

Introducing-- the I Like Myself Pocket! A somewhat surreptitious outlet for your latent sexual frustrations! Just slip in a hand and let your mind go back to that time that hobo brushed up against you on the bus. Mmmm, mmm.

Pick up the I Like Myself Pocket in stores today! Now in children's sizes!!

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

Season 9, Episode 1 - Come as you Are

Challenge: Create a garment out of your pajamas.

Target: Rafael's look using his pjs and his headscarf

KORSimile: "It's like she's wearing a Flinstones disco patch...Like she went out and had a little too much to eat and had to unbutton her shirt."

MICHAEL KORS. ENOUGH WITH THE DISCO. WE GET IT. DISCO THINGS ARE BAD AND ARE NOT FASHION. OK!

On another note, what the hell is a "disco patch"? Is that something like an Afro Pik that you only understand if you've used one? From the looks of it, a Flinstones Disco Patch is something you wear to a prehistoric 70's party (a 70's prehistoric party?) when you don't want Andy Warhol's spittle to land in your cleavage? Or maybe it's an emblem of all of the hairy brutes you slept with at Studio 54-- something you should be proud of, like a nasty Girl Scout badge.

That aside, can someone say "camel toe"?

"Camel Toe." There, I said it.

Bonus Heidi: "What grown-up wants to wear a bib?"

Oh, I can think of one...

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

PRUNWAY SEASON 9 STARTS THURSDAY!

NEW SEASON OF PROJECT RUNWAY STARTS TOMORROW AT 9/8c!

And so, here is some GRATUITOUS SWATCH FOR YOU!

SwatchSimile: "This looks like that time Mr. Bojangles pooped all over the tree lawn and then threw up on top of it and then Barksy ate it and then threw it up!"

Baroo.

Season 7, Episode 10 - Hey, That's My Fabric!

Challenge: Create a look using a textile of your own design!

Target: Jonathan's backwards wrap jacket

KORSimile: "It looks like a disco straightjacket!"

"Oh, look at that. Your husband helps you back on with your straight-jacket. Sweetie, that's not a good thing."

Holy shit, MK. Enough with the disco similes! Clearly, someone misses Studio 54. I actually didn't hate this so much. Sure, the backwards jacket was a little idiotic-- I mean, just put the jacket on the regular way! Is it really that creative to take something normal and put it on backwards? Ooh, I'm going to put my shoes on the wrong feet! I'm an artiste! Ooh, I'm going to walk around like I'm a polar bear and put my pants on my head! I'M THE NEXT ALEXANDER MCQUEEN!

Don't mess with the magistrate.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

Season 5, Episode 9 - What's Your Sign?

Challenge: Create an avant garde look inspired by the astrological sign of an eliminated designer.

Target: Blayne and Stella's Libra Look

KORSimile: "SHE IS POOPING FABRIC"

It looks like she ate some bad gay Mexican food! It looks like she ate chips made with Olean from Narnia! It looks like she's a super hero who propels herself with her magical alien gas!

NO. MK SAID IT BEST. SHE IS JUST POOPIN' OUT THE FABRIC.

You know what else looks like it's pooping fabric?

It's like that time my cat got into the expired Brazilian tuna.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

Season 5, Episode 8 - Double O Fashion

Challenge: Create a look to fit in with Diane von Furstenburg's collection inspired by A Foreign Affair

KORSimile: "I mean, the tailoring is just not happening here...This crotch is every woman's nightmare on how a pant would fit. It's like, Hello! She's got something missing, if you know what I mean."

In Reference To: Stella's cape-suit

Tee-hee, what ever could you mean MK?
Oh. Well, MK surely knows his trannies. I'm betting Stella does too, if you remember her. Her boyfriend's name was Ratbones (seriously), and she had a lovely hidden-penis glow herself.

As for Prunway judges who have an affinity for trannies...
Ten bucks the belly was for show and the only pregnancy she would be involved with is someone who bought sperm from Shim.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!