Season 7, Episode 3 - The Hi's and Lows of Fashion

Challenge: Work in teams of two to create a high-end signature look worthy of a Master's Collection, and a second look that is a more affordable design inspired by another team's signature look.

Target: Anthony and Seth Aaron's Signature Gown

KORSimile: "It looks like I'm at the cotillion party in the South from Hell."

Whoa whoa whoa, MK. First of all, Cotillion gowns are WHITE. That's the whole POINT of Cotillion, that you are preparing yourself to be a bride. I went to a Debutante Ball for my best friend, and it was...weird.

And in Anthony's defense, he is from the South. Also, he's a gay black man who wears bell bottoms and LIVES in the South, so I'm pretty sure that he both knows Cotillions AND what hell must feel like very, very well.

Also, let's think about this conception of hell. As bad as that dress might be, I doubt that MK's hell will involve gowns of any sort. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can picture what hell would be for Michael Kors:

MK's transformation into The Thing from the Fantastic Four is 25% complete in this picture



Season 9, Episode 6 - The Art of the Matter (Part 2)

Challenge: Create a look inspired by a piece of art created in collaboration with a student from the Harlem School for the Arts.

Target: Josh C.'s Thing that Makes this Model Look Even Worse

KORSimile: "She looks like a Victorian cocktail waitress in Vegas!"

For once, I'm not going to analyze the KORSimile. Instead, I'm going to talk about the Bonus Heidi.

Bonus Heidi: "The first thing I thought was, 'I'm gonna be a hooker for Halloween!"

Yeah, Heidi. YOU AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING FEMALES IN THE UNIVERSE.

Trick or Treat! I'll give you a hint-- the treat is crabs!

On that note, I have figured out what I'm going as for Halloween:

Come search in my caves, baby.

Season 9, Episode 4 - All About Nina

Challenge: Create a day-to-night look for Nina Garcia
Target: Danielle's blouse and pants
KORSimile: "This green blouse...you'd have to wear it to Joan Crawford's St. Patty's Day party."

So did you know that Joan Crawford and Joan Collins are NOT, in fact, the same person? Because that's news to me. If my mom were reading this she would be all "oh you're so young! I'm so old! I'm a terrible mother!" and I'd be all "MOM. ENOUGH. Now make me more chili."

Anyway, this shit is boring. No, it's worse than boring-- it looks like something you could easily find at *vomits* TALBOT'S. Ask Anita how much I hate Talbot's and she'll tell you that I have to look away whenever we pass it in the mall because their brand of un-trendy, bland kindergarten teacher clothes makes me sick to my stomach. And that's what this looks like! Can't you just imagine this girl saying "Good morning, children! My name is Miss Anne and I forgo sex in favor of making lesson plans for a bunch of nose-picking assholes!" (If it wasn't obvious, I also hate children).

What I do NOT see is this girl at a party, let alone Joan Crawford's St. Patty's Day party, which I would assume would be a stone cold hoot complete with cocktails, heavily penciled eyebrows, and abuse.

"No more wire hangers ever! Also, TIME FOR JAEGERBOMBSSSSS"

Now, with that out of the way, it's time for what seems to be an increasingly common topic of these posts: Transvestites that are somewhat related to the KORSimile! In this case, it's a lovely tranny Joan Crawford in a striking emerald gown, the kind appropriate for a super gay St. Patty's Day party.

Cheers, Boy-o!

Season 5, Episode 8 - Double O Fashion

Challenge: Create a look to fit in with Diane von Furstenburg's collection inspired by A Foreign Affair

KORSimile: "I mean, the tailoring is just not happening here...This crotch is every woman's nightmare on how a pant would fit. It's like, Hello! She's got something missing, if you know what I mean."

In Reference To: Stella's cape-suit

Tee-hee, what ever could you mean MK?
Oh. Well, MK surely knows his trannies. I'm betting Stella does too, if you remember her. Her boyfriend's name was Ratbones (seriously), and she had a lovely hidden-penis glow herself.

As for Prunway judges who have an affinity for trannies...
Ten bucks the belly was for show and the only pregnancy she would be involved with is someone who bought sperm from Shim.

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARA!

Happy Birthday to a sister who could most likely create garments way less idiotic than most of the contestants who are on this stupid show!

I'm not sure why I chose the picture of MK looking like a gay leprechaun to commemorate my sister's birthday, but here you go.

And, in Sara's honor, here is my cat in a pirate ship.

Season 8, Episode 6 - You Can Totally Wear That Again!

Challenge: Create a new garment using horrible bridesmaids dresses

KORSimile: "You're trying to make her look like she's at the church bring-a-pot dinner...she's got an avocado goiter!"

In Reference To: Peach's dress

A few things:

1. "Avocado Goiter" would be a great name for a band.

2. We really loved Peach. First, she's adorable. Second, she's an old white lady named Peach. Peach! Like Princess Peach! Is this what Princess Peach grows up to be? If so, I think that an older Mario would be LUCKY to have this to hit when he's 50 (since the game was developed in 1983, Mario is probably that age or older. So, DAAAAAAAMN)

3. What is with the old-people humor, Michael? It's all about youth in this business. You can't spend all the episodes talking about bunions and lumbagos and expect your audience to realize that all you mean to say is "this is not one of my favorite colors."

4. Have you ever seen a goiter? We just googled "goiters" for the purpose of this post. We'll let you do the same. Go ahead, we'll wait.

Did you do it? No? Well, here's an example of what you'll turn up if you do:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Season 5, Episode 1 - Let's Start from the Beginning

Challenge: Create a garment from materials found in a grocery store.

KORSimile: "She turned the corner and I was like, what is she, a bridal nurse? It's freaky!...And then the dress underneath is like a Handi-Wipe gone wrong...It looks like something you would wear in a slasher movie-- like something you would wear if you were killing someone!"

In Reference To: Jerry's Raincoat

Holy shit, dude. No, really-- what the fuck is this shit? What in the world were you thinking? Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. You know this is Project Runway, right? It's not Scare the Bajeebus out of Everyone so that We All Think You're Probably That Dude From Saw.

What's so scary about this is that IT IS TOTALLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR IF YOU WERE KILLING SOMEONE. It's sanitary, it's disposable, the blood would slide right off. Example: Here is a shot from the show Dexter, which is about a guy who kills people (I've actually never seen the show so I just assume that is the extent of the plot).

Here is an artistic rendering of Jerry's garment.

And here is what would happen if anybody had any sense at all.

MK: "Ahhhhh!" (all girly like)

What do YOU think this looks like? Post a comment with your OWN KORSimile!